Friday, February 11, 2005
Wisdom (and humour) never dies...
"What Democracy Means to Me"
by Johnny Carson
"To me, democracy means placing trust in the little guy, giving the fruits of nationhood to those who built the nation. Democracy means anyone can grow up to be president, and anyone who doesn't grow up can be vice president.
Democracy is people of all races, colors, and creeds united by a single dream: to get rich and move to the suburbs away from people of all races, colors, and creeds. Democracy is having time set aside to worship - 18 years if you're Jim Bakker.
Democracy is buying a big house you can't afford with money you don't have to impress people you wish were dead. And, unlike communism, democracy does not mean having just one ineffective political party; it means having two ineffective political parties.
Democracy means freedom of sexual choice between any two consenting adults; Utopia means freedom of choice between three or more consenting adults. But I digress. Democracy is welcoming people from other lands, and giving them something to hold onto - usually a mop or a leaf blower. It means that with proper timing and scrupulous bookkeeping, anyone can die owing the government a huge amount of money.
Democracy means a thriving heartland with rolling fields of Alfalfa, Buckwheat, Spanky, and Wheezer. Democracy means our elected officials bow to the will of the people, but more often they bow to the big butts of campaign contributors.
Yes, democracy means fighting every day for what you deserve, and fighting even harder to keep other weaker people from getting what they deserve. Democracy means never having the Secret Police show up at your door. Of course, it also means never having the cable guy show up at your door. It's a tradeoff. Democracy means free television. Not good television, but free.
Democracy is being able to pick up the phone and, within a minute, be talking to anyone in the country, and, within two minutes, be interrupted by call waiting.
Democracy means no taxation without representation, and god knows, we've just about had the hell represented out of us. It means the freedom to bear arms so you can blow the "o" out of any rural stop sign you want.
And finally, democracy is the eagle on the back of a dollar bill, with 13 arrows in one claw, 13 leaves on a branch, 13 tail feathers, and 13 stars over its head. This signifies that when the white man came to this country, it was bad luck for the Indians, bad luck for the trees, bad luck for the wildlife, and lights out for the American eagle."
A good soul who will be sorely missed.
posted by Kimber
at 5:39 PM ::
~#~
(0) comments
Tuesday, February 08, 2005
Features | Who pays for the tax cuts?
Features | Who pays for the tax cuts?:
"(Mary Lou Deyer) believes that if this cut gets through the Legislature, state government might be jeopardizing its compliance with a 1994 court order to place mentally handicapped people in the community with adequate supportive services. This 'consent-decree' community-care system replaced, in 1996, the abusive state Pineland Institution for mentally handicapped people in Pownal. The cuts total $28 million in both state and federal funds, she says. The feds match state money two to one.
Dyer has uncovered other cuts in Baldacci's budget. For example, one is to the education of preschool kids with disabilities, a $6.5-million savings to the state Department of Education. Then there is $644,000 saved by eliminating the DHHS's Committee on Transition, which helps disabled teenagers move from schools to jobs.
Ron Welch, executive director of the Maine Association of Mental Health Services, has a similar take on the Baldacci budget.
'Over the course of two years, with all the state money and the federal match included,' he says, 'there's a $78-million cut' to services for the mentally ill people whom his agencies help."
The rich folks are getting downright pissed off that us poor folks don't have the common decency to just die off so they don't have to pay for us anymore so they're just speeding up the process a little bit. God love em.
posted by Kimber
at 11:41 AM ::
~#~
(0) comments
