Pissed off Wiccan for Peace: 06/29/2003

Thursday, July 03, 2003

RESUME' FOR PRESIDENT GEORGE W. BUSH

:::PAST WORK EXPERIENCE:::

I ran for congress and lost.

I produced a Hollywood slasher B movie.

I bought an oil company, but couldn't find any oil in Texas. The company went bankrupt shortly after I sold all my stock.

I bought the Texas Rangers baseball team in a sweetheart deal that took land-use taxpayer money. Biggest move: Traded Sammy Sosa to the Chicago White Sox--you know, the guy who was just found to have played with an illegal bat.

With my father's help (and his name) was elected Governor of Texas.

:::ACCOMPLISHMENTS:::

I changed pollution laws for power and oil companies and made Texas the most polluted state in the Union, and have allowed many other states to sink to similar levels.

I replaced Los Angeles with Houston as the most smog-ridden city in America. Cut taxes and bankrupted the Texas government to the tune of billions in borrowed money. Set the record for most executions by any governor in American history.

I became president, with the help of my father's appointments to the Supreme Court , after losing the popular vote by over 500,000 votes.

:::ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS PRESIDENT:::

I attacked and took over two countries.

I spent the surplus and bankrupted the treasury.

I shattered the record for biggest annual deficit in history.

I set economic record for most private bankruptcies filed in any 12-month period.

I set all-time record for biggest drop in the history of the stock market.

I am the first president in decades to execute a federal prisoner.

I am the first president in US history to enter office with a criminal record.

In my first year in office, I set the all-time record for most days on vacation by any president in US history.

After taking the entire month of August off for vacation, I presided over the worst security failure in US history.

I set the record for most campaign fund-raising trips than any other president in US history.

In my first two years in office over 2 million Americans lost their job. I cut unemployment benefits for more out of work Americans than any president in US history.

I set the all-time record for most foreclosures in a 12-month period.

I appointed more convicted criminals to administration positions than any president in US history.

I set the record for the least amount of press conferences than any president since the advent of television.

I signed more laws and executive orders amending the Constitution than any president in US history.

I presided over the biggest energy crises in US history and refused to intervene when corruption was revealed.

I presided over the highest gasoline prices in US history and refused to use the national reserves, as past presidents have.

I cut healthcare benefits for war veterans.

I set the all-time record for most people worldwide to simultaneously take to the streets to protest my decisions (15 million people), shattering the record for protest against any person in the history of mankind. (http://www.hyperreal.org/~dana/marches/)

I dissolved more international treaties than any president in US history.

My presidency is the most secretive and unaccountable of any in US history.

Members of my cabinet are the richest of any administration in US history. (The 'poorest' multi-millionaire, Condoleeza Rice, has a Chevron oil tanker named after her).

I am the first president in US history to have all 50 states of the Union simultaneously go bankrupt.

I presided over the biggest corporate stock market fraud of any market in any country in the history of the world.

I am the first president in US history to order a US attack and military occupation of a sovereign nation (causing the huge anti-Bush demonstrations in America and world-wide).

I created the largest government department bureaucracy in the history of the United States.

I set the all-time record for biggest annual budget spending increases, more than any president in US history.

I am the first president in US history to have the United Nations remove the US from the human rights commission AND from the elections monitoring board.

I removed more checks and balances and have the least amount of congressional oversight than any presidential administration in US history.

I rendered the entire United Nations irrelevant.

I withdrew from the World Court of Law.

I refused to allow inspectors access to US prisoners of war, failing to abide by the laws of the Geneva Convention.

I am the first president in US history to refuse United Nations election inspectors (during the 2002 US elections).

I am the all-time US (and world) record holder for most corporate campaign donations.

My biggest lifetime campaign contributor, who is also one of my best friends, presided over one of the largest corporate bankruptcy frauds in world history (Kenneth Lay, former CEO of Enron Corporation).

I spent more money on polls and focus groups than any president in US history.

I am the first president in US history to unilaterally attack a sovereign nation against the will of the United Nations and the world community.

I am the first president to run and hide when the US came under attack (and then lied saying the enemy had the code to Air Force 1).

I am the first US president to establish a secret shadow government.

I took the biggest world sympathy for the US after 9/11, and in less than a year made the US the most resented country in the world (possibly the biggest diplomatic failure in US and world history).

I, with a policy of "disengagement," manage to create the most hostile Israeli-Palestine relations in at least 30 years.

I am the first US president in history to have a majority of the people of Europe (71%) view my presidency as the biggest threat to world peace and stability.

I am the first US president in history to have the people of South Korea more threatened by the US than by their immediate neighbor, North Korea.

I changed US policy to allow convicted criminals to be awarded government contracts.

I set the all-time record for number of administration appointees who violated US law by not selling huge investments in corporations bidding for government contracts.

I failed to fulfill my pledge to get Osama Bin Laden "dead or alive."

I failed to capture the anthrax killer who tried to murder the leaders of our country at the United States Capitol building. After 18 months I have no leads and zero suspects.

In the 18 months following the 9/11 attacks I have successfully prevented any public investigation into the biggest security failure in the history of the United States. (No one knows to this day how the hijackers managed to take over FOUR "secure" airplanes simultaneously.)

I removed more freedoms and civil liberties for Americans than any other president in US history.

In a little over two years, I created the most divided country in decades, possibly the most divided the US has ever been since the civil war.

I entered office with the strongest economy in US history and in less than two years turned every single economic category heading straight down.

I have failed to choose any or have chosen totally inappropriate heads of commissions (i.e., health departments), wreaking havoc with already hopelessly muddled regulations and long-overdue management problems.

To date, I have failed to find any weapons of mass destruction or biological warfare factories in Iraq. I am, however, taking enormous credit for having rid the world of a "dictator."

posted by Kimber at 11:59 PM :: ~#~

:::RECORDS AND REFERENCES:::

I have at least one conviction for drunk driving in Maine (Texas driving record has been erased and is not available).

I was AWOL from National Guard and deserted the military during a time of war.

I refused to take a drug test or even answer any questions about drug use.

All records of my tenure as governor of Texas have been spirited away to my father's library, sealed in secrecy and are unavailable for public view.

All records of any SEC investigations into my insider trading or bankrupt companies are sealed in secrecy and are unavailable for public view.

All minutes of meetings for any public corporation for which I served on the board are sealed in secrecy and un-available for public view.

Any records or minutes from meetings I (or my VP) attended regarding public energy policy are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public review.

For personal references please speak to my daddy or uncle James Baker (They can be reached at their offices of the Carlyle Group for war-profiteering.)

posted by Kimber at 11:44 PM :: ~#~

Wednesday, July 02, 2003

The annoying thing about this new blogger is that the interface on MAC is drastically different than the interface on PC. And I really hate this one on MAC. Just another reason I will remain a PC user til I die.

Ok, so Kimber, what's your beef today? My beef is, as it is every day, the fact that I don't get cable anymore. As a result I don't get to see MSNBC and I miss stuff like this. An entire hour of Chris Matthews verbally pounding the crap out of conservatives. But the truly artistic piece of this show was the fact that Ann Coulter required no active interplay to make her look like a bigotted ass. (She got active interplay because otherwise Chris Matthews would get no ratings at all.) But I must say reading the transcript was akin to perusing the Necronomicon in the feelings it generated. If I wasn't so outraged by the fact that people can stand up today in broad daylight in front of hundreds of millions of people, spew that kind of obvious, one-sided, you're wrong because you don't agree with me, Muslim bashing hate speech and NO ONE is offended by it I would have been carried away in near nirvanic rapture. This woman felt not only justified but almost deified in her position as adjudicator over the entire liberal population of the country. We are all traitors because we don't blindly trust and follow GW, Rumsfeld and Ashcroft. Because we don't agree that what they feel is in the best interest of the country actually is...we are unpatriotic. And the fact that we argue with them about it just confirms the fact.

Another portion of this show dealt with arming teachers in the schools. Goddess help us all. I remember right after Columbine, some crackpot from my very favorite Special Interest Group, the NRA, came on the Today show and said that the answer to this is to arm the teachers. I wrote an email to my congrespeople at the time as there was some very important legislation coming up that summer around gun control. You can read it here.

There are two basic reasons why, in my own humble opinion, that arming teachers is a really bad idea. One, teachers have to build an honest, trusting relationship with their students if they are going to be able to effectively teach. We must remember that this is the principal mission of a school, to teach the children. To give them the best education they can so the child will grow up to be a productive member of society. If you turn the teacher into what is basically an armed prison guard, you remove that ability to build a relationship. You have basically placed a .45 caliber barrier between the student and his education. Now if it were up to me, no one would be armed in the schools. I have absolutely no civil rights issues with metal detectors, surprise locker searches, backpack or even car searches in the case of older children. I could even be convinced of personal searches in the case of probable cause. But if we must bow to the homicidal majority, let them come up with some additional, non-scholastic funds to put police officers or rent-a-cops in the classrooms.

Besides this fact, there is the fact that the majority of the classroom teachers in this country would cringe at the thought of shooting one of the children they are working with, building a relationship with and trying to teach. My hubby wants to be a teacher and he would actually rather take a bullet than shoot a child.

Now, on to my second point. I have 2 children. Neither of which, the gods willing, will ever touch a gun. We are bringing them up to be non-violent and with my son, at least, it is something he has a natrual inclination for in any case. I DO NOT want my children caught in the crossfire between student A and teacher B in history class. One set of bullets flying around is frightening enough. If this is something that would seem to be a problem, see opinion 1. Hire security guards or police officers. Search everyone entering or exiting the school.

Yikes. This issue just drives me up a wall. And I did want to include this quote here because I do love it so...

RUMMEL: The problem with the more guns-less crime hypothesis is that if more guns really did mean less crime, America would be the safest country in the world. Instead, America has the highest gun violence rate of any other industrialized nation.

And on that note....I bid you a fond, good afternoon from New England.

posted by Kimber at 2:53 PM :: ~#~

Monday, June 30, 2003

Ok, this new Blogger thing is messing with me. I gotta see if I can get it to work first, then I will make my regular post.

posted by Kimber at 9:43 AM :: ~#~

Wow, Blogger sure changed. I'm slightly disconcerted. :oD

Ok, this is for all my bosom buddies at the NRA. Luv ya, Snicklefritz...

I just couldn't pass this one up.

posted by Kimber at 9:36 AM :: ~#~